Honoring the Whole Person: Kea’s Birth Experience

After supporting a friend through a natural birth, Kea knew that was the birth plan she wanted when she became pregnant with her first child.  But when she expressed this to an obstetrician (OB) she was laughed at and dismissed.

“I knew I wanted a natural birth. When I went to my first OB appointment, it was not with my normal OB but of course you have to see everybody in the practice anyway because you never know who is going to be on call. It was the bedside manner of this OB that rubbed me the wrong way. I’m a people person, it’s my first time meeting you. I think for him he was doing his job. When I shared that I really wanted to have a natural birth, he basically laughed. And was like, while looking his notes, ‘Yeah, a lot of women say that.’”

When a friend of hers suffered a miscarriage during this time,  Kea became concerned about the pregnancy symptoms she  was experiencing. She left a message for the OB and when he called back it was clear that he had not taken the time to look up her chart.

“I started telling him what was happening, and he goes, ‘Wait, are you pregnant or something?’”

Due to this seemingly absent-minded care and lack of due diligence, and previous research on the matter, Kea decided to make a change and sought care at a birth center, which is when everything changed for the better.

“Every appointment was great. It was a very warm and friendly place. It wasn’t like the 15-minute appointment where you wait, get your blood pressure taken, are asked if you are good, and then you go home. I was there in the room having one-on-one connection at least for 45 minutes. Like, how are you mentally? What are you eating? How are you doing? If you feel something that feels weird, let us know. It was like, I’m not going to feel like a burden if I call.”

For Kea, the birth center experience was not just about having a baby; it was about having an experience that honored her as a whole person. Here were providers — doulas and midwives — who took the time to learn about her and how she was doing; listening and addressing her concerns and treating her with dignity and respect.

The birth center formed a community for Kea, her husband, and other birthing people with similar due dates. They met on a regular basis to learn about pregnancy, such as post-partum depression, which two months after giving birth to their son, her husband would be able to flag on Kea’s behalf.

“The first midwife is the one I am still friends with until this day. One of the things I really liked is that she involved my husband. She gave him the heart rate monitor and showed him how to find the heartbeat and how to do the belly measurements. So, she’s educating him too, which I really appreciated.”

During the third trimester, “you have a centering group, and you meet with all the other moms who are due when you are. You have these meetups with other women who are just as pregnant as you, a nice diverse mix of women. Every class, that week, you are also pulled into your appointment. So you get this social group. You get your appointment done. Now we are building a community.”

When it was time to give birth, the birthing center welcomed her, her husband, and family and friends with a comfortable suite that included a full bed, calming lighting, a nice bathroom with a whirlpool tub, a playlist and a rocking chair where the seat breaks away. During labor, Kea’s midwife and doulas were with her every step. Since she was 11 days past due, she had to be induced, but they respected her wishes by using natural methods.

“I had my doula and her assistant. We were walking around doing labor movements. My husband was there, and they were coaching him on what to do. And when he got tired, they tagged in and helped.”

After several hours of labor in the tub, her doula became worried about Kea’s son’s dropping heartrate and it became clear that Kea needed more assistance. During the ambulance ride Kea’s midwife was with her and at the hospital her doula and midwife continued to stay by her side. They learned the reason Kea was having such difficulty was because her son had become positioned at such an angle that prevented a vaginal birth. Kea’s midwife broke the news to her — Kea had not wanted an emergency C-section from the beginning but because she trusted her midwife she accepted it. And in the operating room, her midwife made sure that Kea was not alone and ran to get Kea’s husband when Kea asked.

Exhausted from over 40 hours of labor, Kea’s doula and midwife helped her nurse her son by holding him for her. What’s more, this support network continued well after Kea gave birth with her midwife continually checking in on her. The birth center remained a place for Kea to come to receive further support, such as with lactation classes and being in community with the other moms on similar journeys.

In the end, thanks to the collaboration between traditional medical pathways and more whole person care ones like birth centers and their providers, Kea was able to achieve her intent.

“I wanted my birth to be an experience, my experience.”